I googled how to write a great author bio, but it turns out I’m not a great author so none of the advice was useful for me.
Let’s see, I live in Virginia. I write stories. I hope you decide to read them. I also hope that if you do decide to read them, it will somehow result in a vague, cliched enrichment of your own life while simultaneously resulting in some modest financial gain for myself. But if not, whatever. I’ll keep churning out the stories anyway because that’s just the kind of guy I am.
I write what I like to read, which is just about anything (how’s that for a cliche?). But lately I find myself stumbling and fumbling around in the Thriller/Suspense/Horror genre and so I think that’s where I’ll set up shop for a while and see what happens.
From as early on as I can remember, I was afraid of everything. And as far as I know, that’s still true to this day. I don’t watch horror movies, it’s much too vivid a picture for me. But I enjoy reading it. And I enjoy combing through the sea bed of my memory to remember what things scare the shit out of me and then writing about them. It’s therapeutic? I think that’s what I’m supposed to say. Much like spicy foods and mustard, I’m late to the show when it comes to this stuff but as I grow older I’m developing an appreciation for it and for whatever reason, I seem to keep wanting more.
Philadelphia Sports is my religion. I have an unhealthy obsession with the Dave Matthews Band. I went to Penn State. What other banal information do you need? I think from those three things alone you can pretty much figure out everything there is to know about me.
But in all seriousness, I really enjoy doing this and it’s extremely scary and gratifying at the same time to be able to share some of this stuff with whoever might be reading it. I appreciate any and all support from people who enjoy what I write. Everyone else can fu— I mean, everyone else have a nice day.
Please try my product. I need money.
Just kidding. But please send money.